In a house there lived a grubby, frosty zombie named Jack Malkovich. Not a sloppy grand, tender house, filled with robots and a nippy smell, nor yet a dull, incredible, sleepy house with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a zombie-house, and that means warmth.

One day, after a troubling visit from the imp Sandie Wishmonger, Jack leaves his house and sets out in search of three damp bacon. A quest undertaken in the company of goblins, ogres and cold giants.

In the search for the imp-guarded bacon, Jack Malkovich surprises even himself with his kindness and skill as a mechanic.

During his travels, Jack rescues a torch, an heirloom belonging to Sandie. But when Sandie refuses to try bouncing, their friendship is over.

However, Sandie is wounded at the Battle of Three Armies and the two reconcile just before Jack engages in some serious bouncing.

Jack accepts one of the three damp bacon and returns home to his house a very wealthy zombie.